The Dobe Blew Up The Uchiha Manor
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: After a jutsu goes wrong and blows up Sasuke's home, Naruto is faced with the punishment of having to allow Sasuke to stay with him until the Uchiha's house is rebuilt. Watch sparks fly as the two clash. SasuNaru.
1. Of Fireworks and Old Ladies

_**Author's Note: **Welcome to another Naruto story, by me. This time, it's not a one-shot, not a drabble series, but a full-fledged story. It's full of crack, parodies, and yaoi (later on it'll be SasuNaru because Sasuke and Naruto are so much fun to write as a couple). I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was inspired by actual events, although it wasn't a house that blew up. Well, okay it was, but it was a model house! Sort of. Anyway, enjoy! _

_**Notes: **Teme is bastard, hai is yes, dobe is dead-last, baka is idiot/stupid, kukuku is a laugh. _

_**Warning:**_ _Shonen-ai, OOCness at times, and crack._

_**Disclaimer:**_ _Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto_

* * *

**The Dobe Blew Up The Uchiha Manor  
**by _Mint Pizza Queen_

* * *

_**Chapter One: **Of Fireworks and Old Ladies_

On a further note, the explosion had been spectacular. People throughout the village rushed to the site, convinced that it was part of an early celebration for the upcoming festivities.

Of course, their beliefs, as well as people, were soon crushed as bits of a house started raining on them. People scrambled to find places to hide to avoid being hit by wood, straw, and other materials, while others didn't know what to do and stood in the same spot screaming bloody murder.

Amidst the chaos, and in a blackened crater of earth, stood two charcoaled figures-- one with a loose grip on a badly burnt scroll and the other standing around a yard from that first figure. Both had wide eyes, blinking at the scenario before them. Finally, the standing figure snapped.

"NARUTO!"

The figure named Naruto looked up and blinked. "H-hai, Sasuke?"

The person named Sasuke grabbed the other person's shirt and clenched it tightly. "MY HOME!"

Naruto chuckled, closed his eyes as he rubbed the back of his head nervously, scroll in other hand crumbling to ashes that was swept away by the wind. "Yeah, see, about that--"

"MY HOME!"

"--maybe I should've tried 'horse' instead of 'dog'…"

Suddenly, a set of strong hands latched onto his throat and began to shake him violently, all the while tightening the grip. His head whipped back and forth, more stars other than that from the house appearing before his vision. He suddenly felt something wet running down his neck and realized that the Uchiha had drawn blood by digging his nails into the charred-broiled blonde's neck.

"BAKA! DOBE! MY HOME! IT'S GONE! YOU BLEW IT UP! HOW COULD YOU?" Foam flew from his mouth and his eyes were more than red from the Sharingan, but were also blood-shot with rage. Veins throbbed on his forehead, and his right eye twitched spasmodically. The urge to tear the blond apart and see blood was increasing even more tempting the more the blond attempted to get out of the death grip or laugh it off with a _'Whoops, sorry about that. Didn't see it coming.' _

Ah, blood. More red goodness.

"I didn't mean it!" Gurgle, choke some more, sudden violent shaking of the head, more brain damage inflicted. "Honest! I was just trying out the jutsu! I didn't know it would make your house go kinda 'splodey!"

There was a pause from the Uchiha which meant one of two things for Naruto:

One, the Uchiha was contemplating on releasing him, laughing it off as well, saying that he could just rebuild the house with some amazing jutsu he discovered just two second prior to explosion.

Two, the black haired boy was contemplating how to kill the blond, and of the things he was pondering over, which was the longest and most painful.

"'kinda 'splodey?' KINDA 'SPLODEY!"

Okay, after hearing that, the first sounded unlikely.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Oh yeah, the first was definitely not happening any time soon.

The pain on his neck worsened ten fold as the shaking increased to bashing his head off the ground. Maybe he would die seeing those pretty stars. My, what wonderful colors! Blues, yellows, greens, and reds. Oh! Lots of reds! Lots and lots of--oh, okay, those weren't red stars. Those were red eyes.

Several voices called out from the chaos, and Naruto attempted to look over to see who was calling. Was it Sakura? Oh dear sweet Sakura! Was she coming to say her confession, how she truly loved Naruto and was sorry she didn't tell him sooner and was dearly heart broken that he was dying? Was it Kiba apologizing for giving him that atomic wedgie a few years back? Or was it--

"Sasuke, killing Naruto won't rebuild your house. Please release him and refrain yourself from any further physical torment upon his person."

--the Hokage. If there ever was a time he wanted to thank the old man, it was now. _'Old man! If you can hear this, I'm sorry for taking your toilet paper and unraveling it through the streets of Konoha! I'm also sorry for sticking those laxatives in your dessert! I'm also sorry for teaching your grandson the Sexy-no-Jutsu! _

Okay, maybe not the last one, but nonetheless I'm sorry!'

The vice around his throat left, and air swarmed back through his nose and mouth and into his lungs. Air! Breathe! Life! Oh vital air! _'I LIVE!'_

The Hokage inhaled on his pipe, pulling it away from his mouth as he allowed the smoke to puff out in little clouds. "This is not what I expected to encounter today, nor any day in the future, but I guess it's to be expected from you, Naruto. I want you both to come with me; we have some punishments and housing to discuss." He narrowed his eyes, but they didn't appear harsh. Instead, it was full of mirth. "This is going to be very a interesting year."

With that, he turned and made his way through the debris of what was once the proud Uchiha manor. People littered the ground, twitching every now and then, and several voices that piped out _'Where's the finale?' _were rewarded with a loud smack by the closest person.

* * *

Sasuke sat on one chair, arms crossed, looking mightily pissed. His gaze was directed to the blond, and was shooting as many mental curses, insults, and threats of death that he could come up with. He even decided to mentally shoot a telegram to the blond, with a lengthy detail on how he was going to torture the blond so, starting with that mop of fuzz on his head he called hair. 

Naruto sat in his own chair, on the other side of the room, looking mightily pleased with what he had done to Sasuke's home, and was shooting back his own tirade to him. His blue eyes were narrowed, lips upturned in a cocky smirk that read _'Kukuku, whatcha gonna do, huh teme? Can't touch this. Daaaananana! Nana! Can't touch this!' _

A cough came from the front desk and both turned their heads to the Hokage reluctantly. He hid a smirk behind his robe, and tilted his hat forward in another attempt to hide the face that was breaking into a large smile. "Well, after some thinking of the current situation and from what you two have told me, I have decided on a proper punishment for you, Naruto."

The blond fidgeted slightly in his chair, smirk still on his face. "Yeah, well, spill it. What do I have to clean up?"

The Hokage did smile at this one, and allowed the two teens to see him do so. "Clean your apartment for your guest."

Question marks were visible over both of their heads. The Hokage's smiled deepened as he intertwined his fingers, resting his chin on them. "It means, Naruto, and Sasuke, that Naruto's punishment will be to house you, Sasuke, until the house is rebuilt."

**_"WHAT?"_**

It wasn't just Naruto who screamed, Sasuke did so as well. In fact, Sasuke did more than just that: he _lunged _across the room and grabbed onto the desk in a foaming rage. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PUNISH HIM! STICKING ME WITH HIM IS PUNISHING ME! WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS IDIOT?"

Naruto took to heart this insult and leapt at the chance to grab the Uchiha and begin strangling him. He jumped up, dashed forwards to grab the black-haired boy's throat only to get kicked back in the stomach by said boy. He landed hard on his rump, grunting at the pain in his abdomen for a second before leaping up for a second attack. This attack was also blocked with a foot lodged on the blonde's face, but this did not deter the blond one bit. Oh no, in fact, the blond continued to run in place, trying to get closer to his target: his rival's throat.

The Hokage sighed, then yawned. "Please, it'll only be until Sasuke's house is rebuilt."

"That'll take forever!"

This time, the Hokage grunted, getting slightly annoyed. "Come come, now. Just think of it as a mission. You two sleep in the same room on missions, right?"

"Well--"

"Just think of this as a longer mission. Besides, it'll give you two some time to get to know each other better and train much more." The Hokage then turned and looked to Naruto. "I do have some set rules for you though. You are not to kick out Sasuke, no matter how much he may irritate you or whatnot. You will treat him as a house guest, you will not try to poison him either--" Naruto's mouth clamped shut and he harrumphed in annoyance. "Just--be nice for once, okay? I'll have the workers get to the house building tomorrow morning."

The Hokage rose and clapped his hands, rising from his desk and nodded his head. "That is all. You may go now."

"But--"

"That is _final, _you may go now."

Naruto grumbled as he stomped out of the office, Sasuke trailing behind quite a ways, both reluctant to see how this experience will result.

The Hokage merely sat himself down again and began to shuffle through some paper, grinning all the while. "This will prove to be most interesting, indeed."

* * *

"Now, don't think that I'll be your stinkin' maid or anything, cause I am not waiting on you hand and foot. You're a big boy, you can make your own dinner, make your own bed, and clean your own messes." Naruto walked through the streets, glaring at any innocent civilian who was unfortunate enough to have survived the explosion and was wandering through the streets. 

"Don't worry, it's not like you can even take care of yourself, so why should I depend on you?" Sasuke growled back, clearly agitated by this unfortunate situation and not feeling any pity towards the people that got the Naruto Death Glare ™.

"What did you say, teme?" Naruto twirled on his heal, glaring at the Uchiha. Sasuke merely stopped, glared, and flicked the blonde's unprotected forehead.

Naruto let out an unnecessary howl, and leapt at the dark-haired boy, who stepped aside and grabbed the orange jumpsuit as the blond flew.

Sasuke threw Naruto into the dirt, and placed a foot on his chest with a glare of his own on his face. "Look, I like this about as much as you do, so let's just get this over with and hope to hell that these people are fast builders." With that, he stepped back and held out a hand.

Naruto swatted the hand away and rose on his own. "Let's go. I'm getting tired."

Sasuke followed wordlessly.

* * *

"Here it is." Naruto glared at the door that stood before them before reaching for the handle and turned it. 

Sasuke and Naruto entered the apartment, a dark cloud of anger looming over both boys' heads. Naruto walked farther into his place, stood in the center, then turned back to the Uchiha. He narrowed his eyes.

"Here's my apartment. Don't like it? Leave. I don't care. Don't touch any of my stuff. Don't move any of my stuff. Don't hog the bathroom, I know you gotta keep your Prince-like appearance, but I don't care. Don't do it here. Oh, and lastly, you're sleeping on the floor."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes back at the blond, marched across the room, and stopped in front of the boy. "Is that so?"

"Yes, that's so. You're sleeping on the floor."

Sasuke stuck out his chin defiantly. _'Really now, we'll see about that.'_

With that, he lifted up his foot, and stomped--hard--right onto Naruto's.

There was a loud screech followed by a ring of curses and crashes.

"OH YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Naruto cracked his knuckles, teeth bared, eyes a little watery from the pain inflicted upon his foot.

Sasuke put on an expression of faux horror. "Oh really? You going to slit my throat? Oh! Are you going to stab me in the chest?" Sasuke then crossed his arms and smirked. _'You know, this may actually be fun--'_

"NO! I'M GONNA POUND YOU TO A BLOODY PULP!"

"Really? Let's see it then."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! SASUKE!" With that, Naruto lunged at Sasuke, who remained rooted to the spot until Naruto was a mere foot away from him. At that moment, he stepped aside gracefully and allowed Naruto to careen across the room and crash through the window.

That was soon followed by a series of curses, crashes, and other obscene noises. Sasuke uncrossed his arms, held a hand up to his face and rubbed it.

"Okay, maybe that was a little mean." He stepped across the room and peeked out the broken window towards the ground.

The scene he saw before him was beyond amusing. The blond was laying flat on his back, twitching as a random old lady beat him with her purse. "Watch where you're going, sonny! I may be old, but I'm not to be used for body slamming practice! You hear me? Watch it!"

Sasuke shook his head, resting an elbow on the windowsill as he placed his chin on the palm of his hand. He chuckled.

Naruto glared up at him.

Sasuke put on a cheeky smile and waved.

Naruto fumed, then gave him the bird.

The old lady thought he was flipping her off and resumed to more drastic measures of punishment. "All right, that does it! Get off your lazy ass boy and bend over! You're getting a whipping!"

And thus, Sasuke proceeded to watch Naruto get a whipping by the old lady next door.

"Well, this may not be so bad after all. I have entertainment."

_-End of Chapter One- _


	2. Of Ice Cubes and Bed Sheets

_**Author's Note: **Here's chapter two. I had lots of fun writing this up. Enjoy and thank you for reading. This chapter isn't very funny, but it has its moments. It's more of a plot mover chapter. Oh, and notice the "King of the World" implication that Naruto says in here. XD Kinda a pointer to go check out King of the World because...Naruto said so. Oh, did I mention that this chapter is longer than the previous one?_

**_Notes:_** _Teme is bastard, baka is stupid/idiot, hai is yes, nani is what, dobe is dead last._

**_Warning:_** _Shonen-ai, OOCness at times, and crack._

**_Disclaimer:_** _Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto_

* * *

**The Dobe Blew Up The Uchiha Manor  
**by _Mint Pizza Queen_

* * *

**_Chapter Two:_** _Of Ice Cubes and Bed Sheets_

Maybe he had spoken too soon. After declaring Naruto his new form of entertainment, his entertainment committee revolted. The blond, no sooner after escaping from the old lady's wrath, had marched back into the apartment and Sasuke found himself thrown quite forcefully out of it by the hair. He smacked against the railing hard, hearing a crack and wondered if it were a bone or if it were the railing snapping. Whatever it was, it hurt.

Sasuke reached up and felt his forehead that was the point of impact and drew back his fingers to find a sticky red substance coating them. Annoyed, Sasuke brushed the fingers on his shirt and stood. There was no way in the seven hells was he, Uchiha Sasuke, going to be thrown out like that!

To prove this, he got to his feet and glared at the door. Stupid door. Blocking his path to kicking that Uzumaki's ass. Well, have to take care of that now won't we?

Forming two L shapes with his pointing finger and thumb, he held them in front and moved them as if determining a point of impact. Seeing a good spot, Sasuke plucked a kunai from his pouch and made an 'x' on the door. After depositing his kunai back into the pouch, he stepped back a few paces, and charged.

Naruto's head snapped up just as the door was opened quite forcefully. Actually, the door was kicked right off the hinges and had cracked down the middle, but failed to snap into two separate pieces. His blue eyes were wide in surprise as the Uchiha marched in boldly, admiring his handy work at kicking the door down.

"My door!"

"That door will be the last thing on your worry list by the time this ordeal is over, dobe." Sasuke held up a fist, waving it angrily. The blood on his forehead had run down the side of his face now, but he didn't really care. He was busy at the moment plotting a good way to kill the blond.

Well, actually he wasn't going to kill him because the Hokage had said so, but that didn't mean he didn't want to inflict bodily harm on him. He just wanted to see some blood, that's all. Naruto's blood to be more specific. Nothing more. At least, not yet anyway.

"You bastard!" Naruto shot up into his face and began prodding his chest. "You fix that door right now!"

There was a pause.

"No."

Smoke billowed from the blonde's ears and hands clenched into fists. "Do it now or I'll pound your face into the floor!"

Sasuke crossed his arms, marched past Naruto, and plopped down onto the chair his rival had been sitting in. He pulled up his feet and crossed them on the table, leaning back with hands behind his head. "No. Not my door."

"You broke it!"

"You blew up my house! That door is _nothing _compared to what I'm going to do to you for doing that too!"

Okay, now Naruto was worried. When Sasuke made a threat, it wasn't an idle threat. He meant it, and he was going to carry it out one way or another. Attempting to keep his cool and hide his nervousness, Naruto let out a sigh, messing up his already disheveled hair. "Okay, how about you help me fix it then? With two people it shouldn't take long to fix."

Sasuke put on a thoughtful expression, as if he were actually contemplating on helping the blond. Then he smirked. "Do it yourself."

Naruto gritted his teeth, pointing at the dark-haired boy who appeared about ready to fall asleep from boredom. "TEME! I'LL KILL YOU!" He leapt at the unsuspecting boy, knocking him backwards, both flying across the floor.

Sasuke knew what it was like having the wind knocked out you, but this felt like his mere soul was being knocked out. '_Damn, that hurt!'_ Whatever had knocked the life out of him was still on him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. He grabbed a fistful of something yellow and yanked, hard. He was rewarded with a yowl of pain and a kick in the stomach.

"Stupid bastard! Let go of my hair!" Naruto kneed him several times, each time rewarded with a grunt or a gasp of pain. The hand fisted in his hair only tightened and pulled harder. Damnit, Sasuke was going to pull his hair out, roots and maybe his freaking scalp! "Teme! That hurts!"

The Uchiha felt breathless. He kept being kneed in the gut, and damnit he couldn't breathe! Was he going to suffocate by being kneed in the gut? Not in this lifetime! Despite his pride, Sasuke released the blonde's hair and crawled over to a wall, rested his forehead against it, gasping for air. Damn Naruto's knees were bony! He lifted up his shirt and saw several red spots where he was sure it was going to be a nasty purple bruise by morning.

After gasping several times, and getting some air back into his lungs, Sasuke turned and glared at the blonde but was somewhat mystified to see the blonde looking shocked. "What? What the hell's wrong with you? Why are you looking at me that way?"

Naruto snapped out of his glazed look and snarled. "What the hell's wrong with you? Why'd you suddenly stop fighting? You never stop!"

"I couldn't breathe, **idiot, **you kept kicking the air out of me." Sasuke rubbed his abdomen, wincing. "For an idiot, you can kick hard and do a good job at inflicting pain."

Sasuke soon regretted complimenting him as soon as a smug smirk reared its ugly face. "Yeah, well, that's one of the _many _talents I, the Great Uzumaki Naruto, have!"

"That and being an idiot."

"BASTARD!"

Sasuke rose from the floor, shaking slightly. He stumbled to the fridge and pulled open the freezer. He scowled and turned to the blond. "You don't have ice packs?"

"No..."

"Moreover, you don't have ice! Geeze, Naruto, what _do_ you have?" Sasuke winced and clutched his stomach. "You got anything _cold?_"

Naruto got up from the floor and retrieved a small bucket, held it out to the Uchiha. "There's an ice machine downstairs you can get ice from." He was about to shove it at the dark-haired boy, but said boy shoved it back.

"You get some ice. I couldn't make it back up even if I wanted to." Sasuke pulled up the chair that had been knocked over and sat in it.

The blond narrowed his eyes, then put on a cocky smirk. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be the best ninja, you're not so tough after all."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Just get some ice."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, yeah, sheesh." He stomped out of the apartment and disappeared from view.

* * *

Naruto took the bucket and held it under the spout, holding the button in as ice fell out. He looked off to the side, muttering curses as he waited for the bucket to fill. "Stupid Sasuke for being a stupid weakling, sending me to get his stupid ice, why I outta—" Naruto froze. Sasuke...was sending him...to get ice... 

"_YOU BASTARD!"_

Naruto dashed up the stairs back to his apartment, charged inside, and spotted Sasuke lounging on the bed.

Sasuke looked up from a magazine that he had found stuffed under Naruto's bed and raised an eyebrow. Realizing that he had been caught, he smirked. "So, do you have the ice, my maid? I would like a cold drink now, if you don't mind. Ice water would be lovely."

The blond was literally spitting fire. "I do mind, bastard! You tricked me into thinking you were hurt when all the while you weren't!"

"Actually, I was. I was still trying to catch my breath and I am going to have a few nice sized bruises in the morning, but other than that, I'm fine now. Drink please! Your guest is getting thirsty!"

Naruto threw the bucket of ice at Sasuke.

* * *

After Naruto had threw the bucket of ice at Sasuke, there was a brief ice cube war that resulted in a several ice cubes landing inside of Naruto's jumpsuit, sending the blond into a squealing frenzy as he attempted to get the cold objects out by stripping off his outfit. 

Sasuke laid on the bed the whole time, laying on his stomach with his head propped up with a hand, watching with a raised eyebrow at the performance. At intervals, he called out to Naruto, telling him to watch his step or he might fall out the window again and end up with another whipping. This would cause Naruto to momentarily forget the ice cube, curse at the Uchiha for a good moment or two, but then realize that the ice was still in his clothes, and would proceed with another dance.

Who knew that Naruto knew how to do the worm?

"Oi, bastard. Get off the bed. I'm gonna go to sleep." Naruto then progressed to lifting up one side of the mattress and made Sasuke fall off onto the floor.

"Hey! Where am I going to sleep? And what am I going to sleep in?" Sasuke glared.

"On the floor, as I said earlier, baka." Naruto then gave Sasuke a suspicious look. "And you better be sleeping in clothes. You are not sleeping naked in my home. I don't care if you are allowed to or not, not happening."

Sasuke's eye twitched. No way in hell was he serious! He wasn't, was he? He was. Oh shit he was. There was no way in hell that he was going to stoop that low and allow that dobe to force him to sleep on the floor! About that nude comment, Naruto could stuff any mental images he was having up his ass.

"No, I'm not sleeping on the floor. And I'm not sleeping in the same clothes."

Naruto huffed, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, I sure as hell am not sleeping on the floor! And you're not wearing any of mine!"

"Well, why don't you sleep on the couch then?"

"Why don't you?"

"The guest does **not **sleep on the couch. As an Uchiha, no one ever sleeps on the couch."

"I don't care if you're the king of the world, _Sasuke,_" Naruto spat out his name. "You're either sleeping on the floor or the couch, and you're not wearing my clothes."

There was a knock from the doorway. The two looked up, glaring, to spot one Iruka with a bundle tucked under his arms, looking mightily surprised.

"Well, I see you've settled in boys," he commented, eying the still off the hinges door. "What happened?"

Naruto pointed at Sasuke with a blank yet at the same time annoyed expression. "He did it."

"Idiot."

"Don't call me that!"

Iruka sighed. "Well, I heard about what happened, Sasuke, so I thought I'd bring over some things for you." He walked over and placed the bundle on the table as Sasuke approached. "I have some tee shirts and shorts, and I went to the mart and bought some other things for you. I wasn't sure of your size," he sweatdropped, "so these are an estimate. Will these be alright until we officially go clothes shopping?"

Sasuke lifted up a black shirt and nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"I figured that Naruto would be grouchy about who's sleeping where, so I brought over some blankets and some sheets," Iruka pulled out another bundle with the said items. "I can make up the couch into a bed for you."

"Thank you, but you've done enough for me already." Sasuke took the blankets. "Thank you again, Iruka-sensei."

The brunette smiled, and with a nod, walked towards the exit. "Uh, if you gave me a screw driver I could fix this door in about five minutes or so."

Naruto leapt in, pissed about the fact Sasuke was getting more attention from his favorite teacher than he did. "No, no, we can fix that, Iruka-sensei! Thanks for stopping by!"

Iruka smiled again. "No problem. Anytime you want to go out for ramen, let me know. And uh—try not to kill each other, okay?" He stepped over the door and exited with a wave.

Naruto turned after a sigh of relief only to spot Sasuke giving him a look. "'_We can fix that,'_ is that what you said?"

"Yeah."

"Get a screw driver then."

"Don't have one."

Sasuke sighed. "Get my pouch then, it's over there on the table."

Naruto cursed under his breath, grabbed the pouch, and chucked it at Sasuke, whom caught it with ease. The blond watched the dark-haired boy open it, pulling out several tools before getting started on his task of fixing the door.

Sasuke glanced up, narrowed his eyes, and snorted. "Get over here, you can help. You did tell your favorite teacher 'we', so hold up to it."

The blond gave the Uchiha a glare before approaching to help with the door, all the while resisting temptation to beat his rival's face into the ground for getting more attention from Iruka than he did.

* * *

Fixing the door wasn't too difficult, but it would've been done faster if the two hadn't been caught up in a fight that resulted in Sasuke hefting the door up and smashing it against Naruto's cranium, rendering the boy unconscious for a good ten minutes. Fortunately, it didn't break the door, much to Sasuke's surprise (and disappointment, for then he would've been able to point and laugh at Naruto, finally being able to prove how thick of a head the blonde had). 

During the ten minutes that Naruto was out like a light, Sasuke managed to fix the door, get changed into the clothes Iruka had brought him, as well as get his bed made up on the couch. The only reason why he was sleeping on the couch now was because of Iruka's kindness for bringing over the blankets even though he didn't have to, and plus, he knew it just plain _pissed off Naruto. _

Sasuke crawled onto his new bed, snuggled in against the sheets that smelled fresh of laundry detergent and conditioner. '_Hn, he must've washed them before bringing them over. Must repay him for this.'_ Pulling the sheets up to his chin, he laid on his side and prepared to go to sleep when the noise of the blond roommate filled the void.

"Ugh, what the hell—SASUKE YOU BASTARD! YOU SLAMMED THE DOOR ON MY HEAD!"

Sasuke sighed, pulling the blanket over his head. "Yes, I did. Now shut up. I'm going to sleep."

He heard a loud snort, followed by a string of colorful curses, and the stomping from the boy as he went into the bathroom to change. Closing his eyes again, he awaited for sleep to come when a bright light suddenly flashed in his face. Eyes flying open, his mouth dropped open to see Naruto digging into his fridge.

"What the hell, Naruto!"

"Huh?"

"What are you doing?" Sasuke snapped. "I thought you said earlier you were tired. Now you're _eating?"_

"Hai, teme, I'm hungry. Late night snack." The blond grinned before pulling out a plastic container of leftovers that were god knows how old and opened it, sniffing it.

Feeling pity for his stomach, Sasuke rolled over to avoid getting himself sickened by just watching the blond eat something that was probably mutated enough to eat him back. It didn't help with the fact that whatever the blond was eating made gushy noises in the blonde's mouth, and several times he swore he could hear a crunch.

It only made him even more nauseated.

"Mm, that was good."

Ew. Just ew. Oh god, **_was he getting more?_**

Sasuke dared a peek over his shoulder, spotted Naruto closing the fridge, and make his way back to his own bed. With a sigh of relief as the light went out, Sasuke curled up in his new bed.

Silence filled the room as the two boys drifted off into slumber land. At least, Naruto was already in la-la land. Sasuke was just starting to fall into the same zone when a sudden noise shook him awake.

_What the hell? _

Sasuke listened again, sitting up on the couch, clutching the blankets. _'It sounded like a freaking bear! What was it? Oh shit! There it was again! What is that—is that—couldn't be—'_

The Uchiha wanted to stab himself to death.

Naruto was snoring. Loudly.

He gritted his teeth. The blond never snored on missions! Why the hell was he doing it now? Was he doing it just to irritate the hell out of his new roommate?

'_Well, if that is what he was trying to do, it's working!' _Sasuke threw the blankets off himself, jumping from the couch, and stalked over to the bed. He glared down at the blond, who was spread out, mouth open, snoring, and was wearing that stupid little nightcap of his that looked like a rabid leech trying to suck out his brains.

Naruto let out a snort, and gurgled.

Sasuke's right eye twitched.

Grabbing a pillow that Naruto wasn't laying on, Sasuke leaned over the bed and contemplated suffocating him. At least then he would be able to sleep in silence, and then maybe—just maybe—

Nah, as much as he wanted to, he still owed the blond a year's worth of torment. Couldn't kill him now.

Instead, Sasuke tossed the pillow onto the floor on the other side of the bed and rubbed his hands together deviously. Putting his hands on Naruto's side, he pushed him gently. Mustn't wake him now.

Just when Naruto was on the edge of the bed, Sasuke was about to give the final nudge when Naruto snorted and stretched. Startled, Sasuke dove back to the couch, crawling back in it, putting on an aura of innocence. He peeked at the blond and watched as he stretched and rolled—and much to Sasuke's own amusement—onto the floor.

Sasuke held back a laugh as a thud echoed through the room and the blond shot up, startled. "Nani? What the hell—" Sasuke watched as the blond looked around the room, still shell shocked by the fall. He saw him shrug, crawl back into the bed, and snuggle back in for sleep.

The Uchiha closed his eyes again and wondered just what other goodies he could come up with to torment Naruto.

_-End of Chapter Two-_


	3. Of Alarms and Free Coffee

**_Author's Note:_** _Here's the next chapter. My apologies for the delays. Some unexpected events popped up that delayed its posting. Plus, I kind of got distracted by awesome shiny fics that I stumbled across. And it's all your fault! Because you guys are awesome writers. I can't help myself but...just read them. So, yeah. XD So anyway, next chapter. Enjoy. Oh, did I mention you get a dosage of Kakashi x Iruka? And that the "Alarm clock in the forest is inspired by Bill Engvall by his Shania Twain dream with the phone ringing in the mountains. XD Blue Collar is love. _

**_Notes:_** _Teme is bastard, baka is stupid/idiot, hai is yes, nani is what, dobe is dead last._

**_Warning:_** _Shonen-ai, OOCness at times, and crack._

**_Disclaimer:_** _Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto_

* * *

**The Dobe Blew Up The Uchiha Manor  
**by _Mint Pizza Queen_

* * *

**_Chapter Three:_** _Of Alarms and Free Coffee_

"Who blew up whose house and when did this happen?" Kakashi was seated on Iruka's couch and had been reading his delightful orange book when the brunet broke the silence with the news upon the Uchiha Manor's demise, and was now giving Iruka a baffled look.

Said brunet sighed, sitting down next to the silver-hair Jounin with a cup of tea. "Naruto blew up Sasuke's house yesterday afternoon. You were out of town when it happened."

Kakashi snapped his book shut and turned eagerly to the teacher. "Oooh! Tell me! What exactly happened? Was there bloodshed? Was there casualties? Oh, do tell me what became of Sasuke?"

"The only thing that happened," Iruka took a quick sip of his tea and continued. "Was Naruto was over at Sasuke's house, unbeknownst to the Uchiha apparently, and had nabbed one of the family scrolls. It was one of the ones on using their riskiest fire techniques. Well, according to the Hokage, who got first hand details on this display, Sasuke had walked in just as Naruto finished with the jutsu and tried to stop him, but failed."

"_Obviously_ by the totaled house." The silver-haired ninja chortled with evil plotting glee.

Iruka slammed his teacup onto the coffee table and whirled around to face Kakashi with a glare that would've sent kids home crying, which was a major accomplishment seeing as how he rarely yelled at his students (except Naruto of course). "I fail to see the humor in this! Sasuke is without a home!"

"So where _is_ our favorite Uchiha?"

The brunette calmed himself enough to turn back to his original sitting position and resumed to drinking his tea. "He's staying at Naruto's."

There was a pause. Iruka, baffled by his companion's silence, turned his head slowly to look at him. Kakashi was shuddering, eye upturned in a happy arc, hands covering his masked mouth, as he fought back against some unseen force—

--yet all attempts to withhold this force failed as the silver-haired Jounin burst out laughing, falling off the couch in the process.

Iruka glared, and kicked the man in the sides several times as he lectured him that it wasn't very polite to laugh about other people's misfortune and that he would be sleeping on the floor for the next couple of weeks, thank you very much.

* * *

The sun rose without haste, shining in through the broken window with its bright brilliance, illuminating the sleeping Uchiha's face. Said boy groaned, and rolled onto his opposite side. He wasn't ready to wake up anytime soon; he was in a wonderful dream in which he was kicking his brother's ass. 

He and his brother were in a showdown, deep in the thick forests that surrounded the village. Itachi lay on the ground, bleeding, weak, helpless, and at the other Uchiha's mercy. Sasuke was looming over him with a kunai in hand, grinning insanely.

"I will finally avenge the clan for your actions, brother!" He raised the kunai when suddenly, out of the blue, a long, loud '**_beeeeeeeeeeeep'_** sounded through the trees. Whirling about, Sasuke's eyes darted to every direction. '_Was that—what the—it couldn't be—'_

"**WHO'S GOT AN ALARM CLOCK IN THE FOREST?**"

His eyes darted back to the ground where his brother had laid but the bastard was gone. Sasuke gritted his teeth, clenching his hands and crushed the kunai.

The Uchiha's eyes bolted open and his eyes darted across the room where the source of the beep rested on a nightstand next to a sleeping blonde's bed. The alarm clock was going off, and Naruto was still asleep through the entire sounding, oblivious to the world.

Sasuke was agitated. The damn thing woke him from his pleasant dream of revenge, damnit! Now he was going to get his own revenge on that damn clock—

Naruto bolted upright from the sudden spark of electricity that shot from the stand, which soon erupted into a small explosion of one alarm clock. He coughed as he waved away the smoke, and then eyed the kunai that was lodged where the numbers had once flashed to him. He whirled and glared at Sasuke, who was poised and ready to toss another kunai.

"Sasuke, you teme! What did you do that for!"

"It woke me up."

"That's what alarm clocks are _supposed_ to do!"

"That one is supposed to wake _you _up. Not me. But seeing as how you're an idiot, you slept through it. Instead, it woke me up. So I destroyed it."

Naruto leapt out of his bed and stood in a battle stance. "You wanna start something, teme?" Sasuke twirled the kunai between two fingers dangerously, narrowing his eyes just before a message flashed through them that promised death, blood, and other gore. Naruto wisely backed down for once, and decided to crawl back into bed.

"Eh, I'm going back to bed."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, throwing his blankets off. "Whatever."

The Uchiha had a mission today. His mission consisted of several tasks that needed to be completed. The first one was gathering together a thousand workers and force them into slave labor by rebuilding his home that used to reside in that spot that now resembled a crater.

The second was repaying Iruka-sensei for bringing over the clothes for him, and perhaps take him out to lunch or breakfast (just to supremely piss off Naruto).

Lastly, find out who the hell that old lady next door is and deem her 'cool' for beating Naruto's rump with a cane while he was strewn over a knee. Anyone who does that is truly worthy of the title 'cool'.

He grabbed a clean outfit from the clothes Iruka had brought him and headed over to the bathroom with a yawn. He would take a shower, clean up his mess on the couch, and head out to perform his said tasks. It was simple! No swea—

"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

Sasuke found himself skittering across the room after opening the bathroom door and seeing what lay beyond the innocent looking door. What was beyond it clearly wasn't so innocent.

His outburst had startled Naruto out of his sleep again. "Wh-wha-what's going on?"

"WHAT IS THAT?"

Naruto looked to where his finger was pointing. "My bathroom."

"NANI?"

"Yeah, Sasuke, that's my bathroom." Naruto glared before tugging his blankets over his head. "Now shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

Sasuke's heart rate had increased ten-fold after he had peeked ever so slightly into the room. The walls and floor (what was seen anyway) was pretty much black with grime and dirt. The floor was a puddle due to the lack of a proper shower curtain. And there were piles of dirty clothes and towels strewn all over creation. Sasuke couldn't even _see_ where the hell the toilet was.

His eye twitched. '_There is no way in hell that I am staying with something that disgusting...'_

Deciding that enough was enough, Sasuke marched across the room and took a hold onto Naruto's ear. He pulled on it, pulling Naruto out of the bed crying out in pain and in anger. He dragged him to the bathroom, all the while being cursed at and receiving smacks from rapidly swinging arms. He dropped his clothes off to the side in the safety of a corner and taking Naruto's head in two hands, pointed it directly at the bathroom.

"You see that!"

"Yeah. Now let go!"

"No! That is disgusting! That's not even sanitary! That right there is a health hazard! Clean it up!"

"Let me go!"

"Naruto!"

"What?"

"I said clean it up!"

Naruto grabbed at Sasuke's hands, clearly ignoring him. "Let me go!"

Sasuke shook his head vigorously, finally gaining the blonde's attention. "You are going to clean that mess right now!"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Says who?"

The Uchiha bared his teeth, almost giving him a demon with fangs appearance. "Says **me.**"

"What if I don't wanna, huh?"

Sasuke slapped him. Hard.

"OW! TEME!"

"Clean it! Now!"

"No!"

"Clean it!"

"No!"

"All right!" Sasuke threw his hands up in the air. "I'll make a deal with you. You clean that bathroom, and I'll have the Hokage lesson the punishment on you and see if I can get out of here sooner. Like a month of two before the house is done or something."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "But then why bother cleaning the bathroom if you're not going to be here."

"I said I would see if I could, I didn't say that there would be guarantees. Besides," Sasuke gave a disgusted look into the doom zone. "That right there would shut down the entire apartment complex and people would be out for your hide. You would be out of one home."

The blond snorted. "Fine, whatever. Only cause I don't want to get kicked out."

"No, they would burn this place to the ground. Trust me." Sasuke turned back and grabbed his clothes before diving onto the couch.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

Sasuke sat up and leveled a glare. "I'm waiting for you to finish cleaning the bathroom so I can get ready and pester the people to work fast on my house. Now clean it!" He abruptly sat back into the cushions, sending his sheets flying up slightly.

Naruto glared at him, muttering curses as he went for a bucket and some cleaning supplies.

* * *

It had taken Naruto a good two hours to clean the bathroom. Sasuke had fallen asleep after a half an hour had passed only to wake up again and hour later from a crash in the bathroom, and something that sounded like a high pitched squeal in pain. The Uchiha had shot off the couch and dashed to the bathroom to see Naruto struggling to carry a large pile of dirty laundry out to the front porch but had lost his balance and fell into the tub. 

Seeing as how most of the bathroom was cleaned already, Sasuke lent a hand and helped carrying the items to the porch as Naruto finished up the remainder of the floor and the sink. The remaining thirty minutes was quiet, with very little said except for the occasional "Where does this go?" or the "Can you hand me the broom?".

Finally, the bathroom was cleaned up and Sasuke dove in to take a shower, leaving Naruto to go do his laundry while he was doing his own business.

When Sasuke had climbed out, got dressed, and picked up the sheets and made the sleeping couch a regular couch again, he wrote a quick note telling Naruto where he was headed off to and not to be late for training at lunch time and bounded out the door.

The first place he stopped at was at the schoolyard, where Iruka-sensei taught. He saw Iruka walking out of the building, obviously heading out for a break, so he bounded up the teacher. "Iruka-sensei!"

The brunet turned his head and smiled. "Ah, Sasuke. Hi there, it's a surprise to see you out here."

"I want to say thanks for bringing those over last night."

Iruka smiled. "No problem."

"Would it be all right if I bought you breakfast or lunch as a thanks?" Sasuke tilted his head.

The brunet shook his head, still smiling. "Oh, you don't have to do that for me."

"Nothing small?"

Iruka thought for a moment, and then nodded his head. "Maybe a coffee would be nice. But really, Sasuke, you don't have to."

Sasuke shook his head and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his borrowed clothes. "Eh, it's okay. I want to."

* * *

Naruto walked back into his apartment not too long after, and dropped his clean towels onto the table. He would go back for his clothes after. He wanted some ramen. That's when he spotted the note that lay innocently on the counter. 

He seized it, skimming over it before slamming a hand onto the table. "That bastard! What does he think he's doing going to find Iruka-sensei? Teme, I'll kick his ass! Trying to get dibs as favorite or poor oh woeful Sasuke! I'll kick his ass for sure!" Dashing back to get some clothes, ramen forgotten for once, he threw the clothes on and headed out to search for his favorite sensei before the teme of an Uchiha got to be on Iruka's favorite student spotlight.

* * *

"Do you know how long it'll take them to rebuild the house?" Sasuke watched anxiously as Iruka took a sip from the fresh cup of coffee the tender poured before setting the cup down again. 

"Not really sure, Sasuke. Several months, half a year, a _year. _I'm not positive. I know the Hokage has already sent out people to start working on it already. I saw some heading over at four this morning."

Sasuke nodded, relieved that the Hokage upheld his word and that work was being done. Just a few minutes closer to getting out of that dump Naruto called home. "Eh, I just want to get out of Naruto's place and get back my privacy. It drives me insane. Being there only one night was bad, but I doubt we could last a year. Furthermore, a month."

Iruka smiled. "I'm sure you two would come to an agreement of some sort pretty soon. You two will be able to make it, I'm sure of it."

The Uchiha frowned. "Eh, I don't think so."

The brunet chuckled before looking at his watch. "I should head back now. Thank you for the coffee, Sasuke. I'll see you later."

Sasuke nodded Iruka off as the teacher headed back to the academy.

Just as the teacher was out of sight, Sasuke laid down the cash and headed to the disaster zone only to find himself knocked down to the ground and landing hard on his rump. He cringed, and then opened his eyes to find Naruto glaring back at him.

"Naruto! What do you want? What's the big ide—"

"What do you think you're doing to Iruka-sensei!"

"Huh?" Sasuke retorted intelligently.

"You heard me, what did you do to him!"

"I thanked him for bringing that stuff over! And besides, it's really none of your business!" Sasuke shoved him away and rose to his feet, brushing off dust and dirt before stomping off back to ground zero.

He could hear Naruto chasing after him. "So that's it? All you did was thank him?"

"I did, and bought him coffee."

Naruto sputtered. "_Coffee!_"

"Yes, coffee."

Naruto sputtered some more. Grinning to himself, Sasuke decided to irritate the blond further. He stopped and turned to face the blond. "I offered to buy him breakfast and lunch, but he settled for a coffee."

"_Breakfast and lunch!" _

"Hai, dobe. Now shoo. Go away. I'm busy." Sasuke waved a hand like a mother shooing her child off to school, which just sent Naruto into a spazz.

"What did you say!"

"I said—"

"I know what you said, teme! Stop acting like a smartass!"

"I can't help it. It comes with being—oh my, what is the word, oh yes! **Smart.**"

Naruto dashed in front of Sasuke, standing ready to fight with a hand waving viciously in his face, finger pointed out like a weapon. "You bastard! Just you wait! I'm going to kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a week! See what kind of smart ass you are then, eh!"

Sasuke merely smirked and shuffled by him, sending the blond into another tizzy.

_-End of Chapter Three-_


	4. Of Craters and Fangirls

_**Author's Note:**__ Yeah, it's been forever since I worked on this. I sort of lost interest at some point (I blame...um...somebody for that. Just...it wasn't me. Honest.) and couldn't think of anything to throw together for the longest time. Now I do, and...(bows repeatedly) FORGIVE ME! PLEASE!_

_**Warning:**__ Shonen-ai, OOCness at times, and crack._

_**Disclaimer:**__ Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto _

* * *

**The Dobe Blew Up The Uchiha Manor**  
by_Mint Pizza Queen _

* * *

_ **Chapter Four:**__ Of Craters and Fangirls _

* * *

The entire walk to, as Sasuke dubbed it, 'The Crater' could've been a whole lot worse than what it turned out to be. A quarter of the way there, Sasuke and Naruto got into another verbal fight that turned into a fist fight when Naruto grabbed an overly ripened tomato (A TOMATO!) from a nearby vegetable stand and chucked it at full force at the back of Sasuke's head when the Uchiha went on his traditional bout of ignoring the blond. The tomato had hit its target, and Naruto felt that it was only right to celebrate in his victory of defeating the evil Sasuke. 

His jig lasted about five milliseconds before he was kicked across the dirt street into another vegetable stand, which led to Naruto getting pissed off, yet again, and careened like a bullet for Sasuke's head with his fist clenched and extended.

The fist fight lasted for about as long as it took for several nearby girls to recognize Sasuke and come to his rescue by pouncing on Naruto, forcing him into the dirt while they pleaded with Sasuke to "Run! Run! We'll handle him! Escape, Sasuke-kun! You can do it!"

Of course, he could've kicked Naruto's ass anytime without their help, but he was on a bit of a tight schedule regarding the slave labor and rebuilding of a certain house and the annihilation of a certain dobe...

So he set off. Again.

This time, about halfway to his destination, he was stopped by several girls he didn't recognize, who questioned him about his home and offered (through snarls and pulling of hair) their homes for him to stay and that their twin bed was plenty big for two people.

He managed to escape that by pretending to actually consider one of the girls' offers and sent the others into a tizzy, resulting in a cat fight in which he calmly walked away with his hands stuffed into his pockets and was whistling a tune about revenge, murder, and show tunes.

Upon arrival, he debated on whether or not it was actually worth going through the trouble of having to wait for his new home. He could easily get a new apartment, and thus, he wouldn't have to stay with the dobe. It would be easier and--

--daaaaaamn. That's a big crater.

Sasuke peeked into the large hole and whistled with awe, eyes widening slightly. He hadn't remembered the hole being that big yesterday.

"Ah, Sasuke." The Uchiha turned to see the Hokage approaching, pipe held lightly in his hand. "I see you have come." The old man took a small puff from the pipe, releasing the smoke through his nostrils. "They started early this morning. They've got a good majority of the rubble cleared away. By the time they get it all cleared out and the hole filled in, we'll have the supplies to rebuild your home. The order was already sent for the materials."

Sasuke blinked. "Thanks."

"So," the Hokage chuckled before looking out of the corner of his eye at the boy. "What is life like living with Naruto for a night?"

The Uchiha's eye twitched. Any respect he had for the old man was now cut in half.

A hand patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry. It may feel bad at first, but as the time passes, you two will get used to it. Eventually, when you go back, you'll be uncomfortable with being alone, and you'll wonder what it is that's missing. It's all right. It's normal." He turned his pipe over and dumped out the ashes onto a pile of burnt wood. "For now, just don't kill each other. I'd hate to have to confront Iruka about why there is a hole blown through Naruto's apartment and there are two boys missing. Not only will he have a hissy fit, he'll have this village torn apart by the end of the day just to look for you two."

With that, he turned and shuffled away just as quietly as he had come.

Sasuke turned back and stared at the hole. Then sighed. Then decided to go do some training.

Speaking of training, where was Kakashi?

* * *

"Kakashi, really, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." 

A lazy eye watched him, then turned back to the endless tables filled with young students, obviously waiting for their lesson. Actually, the students were waiting to see if that vein that was twitching violently on Iruka sensei's forehead was going to explode, but they would never say that.

They were good little shinobi.

"Wah, don't mind me, Iruka. Just ignore me." The evil eye arched upwards and a hand wave signaled a 'Ignore me please! I'm just stalking you to irritate you!' motion that sent a wave of irritation and blood lust through the normally calm teacher.

"Kakashi..."

"Sensei, who's the funny looking old man?"

Ah, thank you Konohamaru.

"This funny looking old man is a Jounin, known as Kakashi." Iruka whipped out a ruler and slammed it against Kakashi's headband, startling the ninja and sent shockwaves through his head. "This headband signals what students?"

"He's a Leaf ninja!"

"Very good, and THIS--" Iruka slammed the ruler onto the green vest, again startling Kakashi, who was now watching him warily. "Signals what?"

"His rank as a Jounin!"

"Very good! And now what does--" he slammed the ruler a little too close for comfort near his happy place for Kakashi. "This right here do?" The ruler was pointed at a random pouch.

"That holds shuriken and kunai!"

"Very good, and now--"

"I just remembered, team meeting. Have to go." Kakashi pushed the ruler away with a timid finger before he disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a smirking Iruka and a crowd of baffled students.

"Hey! That's Naruto's teacher! He's the one who reads all those perverted books! Naruto told me that Kakashi would read those books to them on missions as bedtime stories!"

Iruka's face darkened and the blood lust returned tenfold.

Kakashi was going to die.

* * *

"Sasuke!" A pink blur zipped towards him, stopping a mere foot from his personal bubble. 

Thank you Sakura for actually listening to his wishes for once.

"Sasuke, I heard what happened, are you okay?" Her sea-foam green eyes stared back, wide with worry.

Sasuke shook it off with a quick. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She let out a breath of relief before she smiled. "That's good. Where are you staying now that--you know..."

"With Naruto."

There was an awkward silence in which several passing villagers sidestepped around the two, whispering something about 'getting a room you two, golly gee golly, kids these days, doing the deed at any time and in any place.'

Sakura seemed to have mentally shut down.

Sasuke snapped a finger in front of her face. "Sakura? You in there?"

"N-N-Naruto's p-place?"

Oh great, she turned into another Hinata.

"Yes, Naruto's."

Her right eye twitched slightly as she tried to keep up the smile. "Why Naruto's?"

"Hokage's punishing Naruto."

"Oh, well--Wait, what? Why? What does Naruto have to--"

"He's the one who blew up my house."

The pink haired girl screeched, flames appearing where her eyes were and thunder and lightning crackled around them.

Apparently, she heard everything but that part.

"THAT IDIOT! I'LL KILL HIM! TRYING TO KILL SASUKE-KUN, WHY I OUGHT TO--"

"He wasn't trying to kill me, he was--" Sasuke paused, searching for a word. "Testing a jutsu?"

"In your house!"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's Naruto. He would've done it in his own home if he had been there. It was just that he found it convenient to practice in mine."

She was flushed now, and it wasn't because of Sasuke's presence. She was seriously pissed. "Stupid Naruto. Just you wait, when I get my hands on him, I'll--"

"Ah, the lovebirds unite," a voice chortled from overhead, causing the two to look up and see Kakashi waving down at them, evil eye arched upwards happily. "Don't you think you should get out of the way? People are working, you know. I'm pretty sure there's a hotel right around the corner, just pay her for a hour and--"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI, YOU PERVERT!" A barrel was launched at his head, which he ducked just in time to avoid getting hit. "GET LOST! WE'RE JUST TALKING!"

Sasuke glared at him, gaze telling him everything his teacher everything he (wanted) needed to say.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "Ah, well, yeah. Anyway, since you're both here, why don't we go do some training? Where's Naruto? You didn't kill him already, did you Sasuke?"

"No, I left him with the fangirls."

Sakura blinked. "Fangirls?"

"Attacked again this morning on the way over to see how my house was coming. Actually, Naruto was attacking me. They came and attacked him."

Sakura suddenly seemed very agitated, and flames reappeared. "Was Ino-pig there?!"

Sasuke took a step back, startled. "I--didn't see any Ino's or any pigs..."

The girl instantly calmed down and rubbed at her arms. "Oh, okay then. Because if she was there, then--yeah. I'd have to go have a word with her."

"Yeeeeaaaah," Sasuke took a step away from her before looking up to Kakashi. "So, shall we go train?"

Kakashi's happy eye turned up again and he jumped down, giving a thumbs up. "Sure! Let's go!"

"AHEM. Sorry to break the news to you, but training has been canceled as of now."

A voice broke through, and Kakashi visibly shivered.

Sakura and Sasuke leaned towards the side to look behind the teacher and saw a pissed off Iruka, holding up a disgruntled (and disheveled) looking Naruto, who was covered in bruises and bite marks.

"Now, does anybody want to explain to me why Naruto looks like this and why did one of my students tell me that you read your filthy books to your students as bedtime stories?"

Kakashi slowly turned and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

Iruka was going to kill him.

_- End of Chapter Four -_


End file.
